Sprezzatura

I hate the 1975. If you follow me on Twitter you already know that, but it's been a while since they've done anything and it always bears repeating. The only good attempt at a defence of The 1975 I've read came from, I think, Steven Hyden: the 1975 are important because there need to be big, fun, hateable rock bands. I see the logic in that: people have to play SOMETHING at parties, and weirdo kids like me need SOMETHING to rebel against. But do them Wilmslow cunts fit the bill? Big - probably the biggest in England, only Arctic Monkeys could really fight them on that. Hateable - my lord, yes. But fun? If I'm remembering rightly, two of the first three songs on their recent album Notes On A Conditional Form  are a plodding orchestral overture and a song where Greta Thunberg tells you to stop littering. Not exactly Van Halen- or Aerosmith-esque party animal good times. And I'm pretty sure Guns 'n' Roses never released an eighty-minute double album full of UK ...

tl;dr: In Colour  is a 6 or 7/10, South London Is Dead, Long Live South London. How did Skrillex happen?   It's all very simple, really. You just have to start in Jamaica in the 1950s, as you do with most things.  "Must you explain ALL music the way Grandpa Simpson explains buying a new heel for his shoe?" Yes. Yes I must. See, they had been getting this music imported from America called "jump blues". It sounds kinda like this . There's a strong shuffle beat and a horn section, among other things. It wasn't the sadder rawer kind of blues from the country - your Robert Johnsons and so on - this was blues made for dancing and general post-war jollity. However, you can only import so many 45's before the US vendors just plain run out of new songs. So the Jamaicans decided to make some jump blues themselves. They REALLY emphasised that shuffle beat that was already present but subtler in the American stuff and this emphasis would become the basis for mo...

( note: i wrote this all in one go and then came back and added links/explanation to shit I couldn't remember cause i though it'd be funnier that way ) Okay, so you remember cable? It was like Twitter but with significantly less ability to melt your brain. Anyway, my dad had Telewest - remember Telewest? It was one of the cable providers that became Virgin Media in like 2006 along with ntl: and a third one that I shan't bother looking up. ( edit: hey, turns out telewest was originally called croydon cable big up the ends. Also the third company in the merger was fucking virgin lmao I hate being a moron ) Anyway, my dad had Telewest cable, and the EPG - you know, the guide thingy - was structured in the usual way. Like 100-200 was "General Entertainment" - your BBC1s, your Sky 1s, your DMAX+2s. The big boys. 200-300 was like "weird alternative entertainment" channels. Documentary channels like Nat Geo and Military History; Men and Motors; whatever the fu...